


Adverse Reactions

by ArielleArcher



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Drunk Tony, F/M, Humor, Innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-27
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 18:53:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArielleArcher/pseuds/ArielleArcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>01: Mutts</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adverse Reactions

"Agent Romanoff, Russia called – they want their nukes back."

"Stark, Pepper paged. She's reprogramming your shock-collar this weekend."

Tony winks, downing yet another shot of vodka. He hasn't been this sloshed in a while. "Don't get fresh with me, Red. You haven't seen the dirty toys she brings to bed."

"Did I ask?"

"See, there's this really sexy –"

"One more word," comes Pepper's starchy voice from the doorway, "and the only dirt in your bed will be from the doghouse floor."

He flinches. Only a small flinch, he assures himself, No way Anna Karenina saw it –

Loki's _undergarments_ , she's smirking. Damn. Time to save face, do damage control.

"But, Potts –"

"In fact," Pepper interrupts, "You're already _in_ the doghouse. So I suggest you spend the next few days attending board meetings and flattering me excessively."

"They're called _bored_ meetings for a reason," he mutters rebelliously. Then realizes he must be more drunk then he feels if he's ignoring the dangerous, I-may-not-be-an-Avenger-but-I-can-still-kick-your- butt gleam in her eyes.

"Tony..."

"Sweetheart, you have the biggest, softest – _ouch_. Heart, I was going to say heart!"

With military steps that would have made the Cap proud, she marches him out of the room by the tip of his rumpled tie. " _Heel_ , Casanova. We've got a plane to catch."

_Door swinging shut; last chance to preserve dignity and strike at the face of Communism:_

"Hey, Potts, ever heard of the Mile High Club?"

He really hopes that highly-trained master assassins can't distinguish the sound of a smack to the nose.


End file.
